In this article, I am going to be speaking about a term that everyone talks about but no one really understands.

Trust me in a just a few minutes you are going to understand what confidence is and how to actually attain it.

Confidence is something that everyone is seeking, but no one seems to find it.

Why?

Well, firstly it’s this elusive term that does not represent anything tangible or actionable.

Lots of your friends or family will say:

“Just be confident”

But how?!

Well, I break confidence down into an easy to understand formula which will help you finally achieve and understand how to get confidence.

Confidence = C.M.M.R.

  1. C: Competence
  2. M: Modeling 
  3. M: Mindset
  4. R: Results

1. Competence

Someone who is really skilled at chess is probably more likely to be confident in his chess-playing skills.

If you want to be confident, don’t seek confidence.

Seek Competence.

If you exactly what you are doing and how to do it, your confidence will now come from a real base.

People who are confident and have no competence are delusional.

Their competence is not coming from any real base or substance.

2. Modeling

Next time you see someone that you feel or think is confident. I want you to stop and think to yourself:

“What is he saying, doing, thinking, wearing that I can model”

Can you speak like him? Can you think like him etc

Model confidence to be more confident.

3. Mindset

People that are confident think differently and see the world differently to people that are not confident.

They have certain mindsets such as:

“I am the prise”
“Women desire me”
“I have loads of value to offer”

You need to start adopting the mindset of a confident person to become confident.

4. Results

The more results you get, the more confident you will become as you are getting real-world evidence to prove to yourself that you are the type of person that achieves certain tasks, goals, etc.

SO this is actually what confidence is. Now all of a sudden it’s something that can be achieved.

It’s not something that some have and others can never get.

I was not always confident in myself and most people I teach don’t believe that. I had to learn confidence just like any other social skill. It took a lot of hard work, but day by day I got more and more confident in who I am as a person.

This is a process. There is no magic pill to confidence. You may want someone to hypnotize you into becoming instantly confident but this will not happen. Anything in life that is worth changing requires a lot of hard work and focus.

Now you literally have the awareness to develop and strengthen your confidence which ultimately gives you control. You are in control over your life and you are in control over your confidence.

Ultimately, this is what confidence is. It’s something that can be learned, developed and mastered.

Now you have the tools and understanding in place to actually become CONFIDENT.


Gabriel Grey
Gabriel Grey

Gabriel Grey is the Founder & Executive Instructor at Surgical Pickup. Gabriel has been practicing and teaching technique-based cold approach pickup for almost a decade. Gabriel has traveled the world and taught thousands of men his unique concepts, strategies, and techniques for attracting, dating, and sleeping with women that have transformed the dating lives of his students. He has become well-known for his technical and analytical approach to the pickup, seeing it as nothing more than a skillset that can be studied, learned, and mastered by anyone. Having internalized the outer game techniques and principles to a CORE level, Gabriel’s style looks deceivingly “natural” despite being heavily technical and completely replicable by his students.